


that night

by GxmerGurl



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Depressed Qrow, Hurt/Comfort, I'm getting into some really serious topics here, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Lucky Charms, M/M, Memories, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Recovery, Sad boy Qrow, be careful, fair game, reference to volume 6 episode 5 and 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22123258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GxmerGurl/pseuds/GxmerGurl
Summary: Qrow remembers that night at Brunswick Farms and Clover happens to stumble upon him.
Relationships: Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 149





	that night

**Author's Note:**

> So this is really sad and heavy so please be considerate of that fact. I just want them to deal with Qrows trauma and problems a little more in the show, I mean more than they did in Volume 6 where he just broke down. I wan't his thoughts and reasoning behind some stuff. Want to know what drove him to certain things and just more about his backstory. 
> 
> Is that too much to ask for Rooster Teeth?
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! :)

Some would call him crazy for staying up late just to sit on a roof in the freezing cold all alone. And all of that just because he wants some time to himself. Some time to think.

He finds it hard to do so, when everyone is always having an eye on him. Especially with the kids around, and now with the Ace-Ops and the general back in the picture. It was…hard to say the least.

It can be difficult to have high expectations dragging you down. When you feel like everyone depends on you and want you to be this certain someone. Its easy to slip up. Especially for him with his past.

He slipped up a lot. And it all started after Summers death and the guilt, regret and blame came. He didn’t want to think about that and just wanted it all to stop, so he began drinking. He figured that he couldn’t stop his semblance, so why bother. Every person that tried to help would eventually die or realize that and distance themselves from him before that happened.

It happened with the tribe, who abandoned him, not that he ever would have wanted to go back after everything they did to him.

It happened to Raven, his own sister. Even though everyone says it isn’t his fault because she left everyone, he knows more than them. It’s also personal. She hated how ‘weak’ he was and despised him for ‘not wanting to reunite with his family, after they gave him the chance to be what he is now’. But the difference is, they wanted him to become a killer. But he became a huntsman and didn’t gave up his humanity and heart like Raven did.

It happened with Summer. It always hurt when he thought back to that day. He knew something was wrong when she left in the middle of the night, after checking if everyone was asleep. He decided to follow her, concerned what she might have in mind. He should have never followed her. He was the reason she died, and he could never tell Ruby.

And maybe Raven was right. He was weak, for not admitting it to anyone. It ate away at his mind in nights like these, were he told himself that he just needed some alone time, when in reality he excused his thoughts and regrets eating away at his mind.

He wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway, so why not spend the night in the freezing cold on a roof?

\--

So here he was, sitting in the snow, hugging his knees to keep warm and looked at the broken moon like he so often did.

He always thought that it was funny that the broken pieces were slowly but surely drifting away. It was the same with him. He was broken and tried so often to pick up the pieces, but they just seem to drift away from him, so why bother?

And even if he tried, it wouldn’t matter now. He was too old now and it was too late to start. The damage had been done. And he would never be able to reverse it.

He tried countless times. He broke down, experienced the lowest of lows, but then tried to get back up and piece everything together.

The same happened after the big revelation of Ozpins lies. It was like someone pulled the rug from under his feet and he was sinking in his mind. Everything was breaking, but it never happened so fast and so badly.

There were so many pieces to pick back up. But he didn’t want to bother at the time.

It seemed…trivial. His life had no purpose.

He was at that point before, right after Summers death. That was the night he began drinking and the night he almost killed himself with it. But Taiyang found him and got him to a hospital.

But he never stopped it, even though he stared down death. He knew how dangerous it was, but he didn’t care. He never really did.

So, when the truth was out it was like that night all over again. That spiral down into those dark thoughts that now seemed to be reality. His life really wasn’t worth anything. He really didn’t achieve anything. Everything he did and fought for was meaningless.

But he tried his best to stay strong in front of the kids and Maria but…he knew that at least Ruby and Yang knew and noticed that something was really wrong.

It also wasn’t the best that there was a bar in that god damn farmhouse where he could have drunk himself to death.

He knew that he could do it when everyone was asleep. But…what then?

It was after the second bottle that he stood in the doorframe to the study and looked at Ruby and sighed. It was meaningless.

So, he stumbled into the bar and didn’t want to think. He wanted all of the thoughts to just…stop. Wanted everything to stop.

But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t. Because he remembered Ruby’s face as she walked off into the study. The pure worry on her eyes. How she came back and hugged him and told him good night. How hard she reminded him of Summer.

So, he couldn’t pull through with it.

\--

It really is a miracle that he has been sober for…how long was it? 3 weeks? The withdrawals were extremely hard, but he managed to pull through. And it was good that he wasn’t alone.

It seemed like the universe wasn’t against him for once. Like his bad luck seemed to take a back seat in his life for once.

And he knew it when he first really got to talk to the leader of the Ace-Ops. He knew he was…different. A good different though.

Everyone else was always quick to run away from him and didn’t want to hear his sob story of a life, they always just wanted to get him to either shut up, die or get into bed with them.

It was refreshing and nice that finally someone looked past his grumpy shell. He simply learned not to trust people over the years, so it was hard to get him out of that shell of his. But Clover was persistent, because he really wanted to get to know him. He liked the man the general had told him so much about, so he was interested.

And it seemed like the universe just wanted them to click.

Maybe the universe wanted Clover to also have a sleepless night and to stumble through the hallways, not knowing what to do.

Maybe the universe wanted him to look outside and see the silhouette of a man sitting on the roof and looking up at the stars.

Maybe the universe wanted him to grab a blanket, put on a jacket and joining the other man on the roof.

\--

He was so lost in thought, he jumped when he suddenly felt someone resting a blanket on his shoulders. He heard a small apologetical chuckle as he looked up to the leader of the Ace-Ops. “Sorry I didn’t want to scare you. You just looked so peaceful and lost in your thoughts, I didn’t- “

Qrow just smiled at the other “No worries.”

After that he just looked back into the sky when he again heard the others voice “Couldn’t sleep?”

“No. It’s surprising to see you up in the middle of the night though.” He turned back to Clover who sat down beside him.

“Why? Is it normal for you to sit here at 1 in the morning?” the man in question answered with a slight smiled.

“Well…yeah pretty much. And if not here, you know where to find me.” He saw Clovers gaze change to one of worry.

“What’s keeping you up?”

Qrow sighed “Look Cloves, I know that you’re trying to help. But…” why was he pushing him away yet again? He did this sometimes, because he felt like he didn’t deserve the attention and worry from others.

“But what?” But the man was persistent and, while he could get under Qrow’s skin sometimes, he knew that Qrow almost always didn’t mean to push him away.

“But…I don’t know. Its just hard to talk about I guess.”

“Well then…” the other man got slightly closer “…what is on your mind right now?”

Qrow looked at the other man for a second, their arms were touching now “Uhm…I don’t…”

Clover looked into the confused mans eyes “What were you thinking about before I interrupted you?”

Qrow sighed but tried to remember “Uhm…my past I guess.”

“Ok that’s a start. What exactly? You don’t have to tell me every single detail, but roughly what happened?” he knew that he didn’t have to tell the other man stuff he wasn’t comfortable with, same for Clover.

“I…” he sighed again “…I don’t see how this is supposed to help.” His defenses were spiking up again.

“Because I want to understand what’s hurting you. I can’t just sit by and do nothing when you’re suffering so much.”

“But- “

“No ‘but’s. You need to stop being so hard on yourself. I know its easy for me to say- “

“Yeah no shit.”

“-but you deserve everything ok? You deserve attention. You deserve kindness and understanding. You deserve love.” To further prove his point, he took the huntsman’s hand in his own.

“I…” he sighed and decided to jump over his wall “…I’m just scared I’ll lose you like the rest of them. Scared that you’re gonna leave like they all did eventually.”

“Hey…I’m not leaving. You’re not gonna get rid of me for a long time Branwen.” he looked into Clovers eyes and found nothing but love and patience.

“So…with that out of the way, where do you want to start?”

“Where to start?”

“I don’t know, where do you feel like starting?”

He sighed as he felt Clover joining him under the soft blanket.

“I guess it all started back in the tribe. They hated me and punished me for every word I said or every little thing I did.”

“But why? Weren’t they your family?”

“I thought so too but…I guess family is relative. My sister despises me for not going back to the tribe with her so, another part of ‘family’ gone.”

“But you can’t forget Ruby and Yang. Those kids love you and you’re the best uncle they could wish for. You got them through so much.”

“Yeah but I…There were times where alcohol got the best of me and…” his mouth felt dry “…and I made some of the dumbest decisions.”

“No matter what you did, its in the past. You are past that. No matter what dark pit there was, leave it there. Don’t drag it with you. Try to climb out and move on. Leave all the bad memories there. Also, you managed to quit drinking, do you know how proud those kids are? How proud I am?”

He looked at the younger man, starstruck. “But…what if I relapse? Every time I see a glass of wine or anything really, I feel the temptation burning under my skin and…I’m scared that I’m not strong enough to make it.”

"You aren’t alone. We are with you. And if you relapse, its just important that you get out again. And, that you learn from it. Its human to make mistakes, you just can’t let that consume you.”

Clover always knew how to shut every bad thought down, and it calmed him.

“I can’t promise that this all is gonna be easy.” Clover scoffed “I mean, it all seems impossible at the moment. Finishing the tower. Telling the people about Salem. And then fighting her while the threat is still on the loose?” He just looked at the other man.

“But I believe that we can do it. Every part of it. The projects. Defeating Salem. Your progress into a better mindset. We can do it.” He looked into Qrow’s eyes who just looked at him in Awe. “Together.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

“Well…” he shrugged “…I try to not be so hard on everything. Maybe all you need sometimes is a little hope and luck.”

“Wow, you get really mushy when its late huh?” Qrow didn’t know where this sudden sass was coming from, but the laugh that it got out of the other, made it worth it. Even if he destroyed the moment.

“You like it huh?”

Qrow laughed at that “Not my words.”

“But you meant it.”

Clover winked at him, making Qrow laugh even more and just for this, it was worth losing some hours of sleep and getting up to the roof.


End file.
